Making a good confession this Lent

As a young person growing up in the Catholic faith, confession was something I usually dreaded. Through high school and into college I would put it off for months at a time. As a young adult, and certainly through my priestly ministry, I have come to recognize confession as a great gift. 

A good confession can be a real touchpoint of hope in your spiritual life!

The Sacrament of Penance, or confession, is a central part of the Lenten Season when we focus on prayer, almsgiving and penance in preparation for the celebration of Jesus’ Resurrection at Easter. 

As you prepare, I would like to share three insights about confession and then offer three practical tips to make a good confession in the weeks ahead.

First, we should not approach the Sacrament of Penance as if we are entering a courtroom. It is an encounter with the infinite mercy of God. There indeed will be a time of judgment for each of us, but it comes after we pass from this life into eternity. 

Until then, when we turn to Jesus, we are not met with condemnation; we are met with mercy and love. In the confessional, Jesus is not there to humiliate us. He is there to heal us.

This is why confession is not primarily about “getting our sins off our chest,” even though naming our sins is essential. Confession is about confessing the mercy of God: stepping into a sacramental encounter where his grace is greater than our weakness.

Second, confession doesn’t merely wipe the slate clean. It restores communion. This perspective also helps us understand the relationship between the Sacrament of Penance and the Eucharist. 

Sin is never only private. Even when hidden, every sin weakens our friendship with God and frays our relationships with others. It makes our heart less free, less joyful, less able to love.

God’s mercy is not simply the erasing of a record; it is reconciliation, that is, the restoration of communion and relationship. Through the ministry of the Church, Christ lifts the burden, speaks peace to the conscience and re-knits what has been torn. 

It resonates with that universal experience we all know: the painful sense of separation that our sinfulness creates, and the deep relief and consolation of being brought back into communion.

Third, confession trains us in truth and opens the door to freedom. Every sacrament is a tangible sign of God’s grace, but confession is a unique experience of speaking the truth about ourselves, and being heard by God through the priest. 

When we name what is wounded or disordered in our hearts, we stop hiding and bring it into the light. That honesty makes room for grace to penetrate our guarded hearts. Over time, frequent confession helps us notice patterns, resist temptations and grow in virtue. Humility is painful only at first; then it becomes a doorway to peace.

If we truly appreciate this gift of confession and experience its benefits, we will want to receive it more fruitfully. 

So, here are three tips to help you prepare to make a good confession this Lent.

First, make a good examination of conscience. Having the habit of examining your conscience daily will bear great fruit. If you do not have that habit, take five to 10 minutes before confession to ask the Holy Spirit for light. 

Consider both individual sins committed since your last confession as well as habits or patterns of sin that you need to name. And remember: an examination is meant to help you identify your sins, not to rehearse a whole story so you can retell it in the confessional.

Second, be clear, concise and honest in confessing your sins. This is an act of humility. Be considerate of others who may be waiting for their confession so the sacrament can be more accessible to others who are seeking it. 

We are obliged to confess all grave sins, stating the nature of the sin and, as best we can, how many times it occurred (or how frequently). Less serious sins also may be confessed, especially when they are habitual or damaging to our relationship with God and neighbor. Avoid turning confession into a performance or a therapy session. Jesus already knows the full story. What he asks is that we bring him the truth with contrite hearts.

Finally, after you confess your sins, the priest will assign a penance. Do it promptly. If you truly feel unable to complete what is assigned, you may ask for a different penance. In the Act of Contrition, you also promise to amend your life, so make one concrete plan to confront what you confessed: a change of habit, a new boundary, a step of restitution, a practice of prayer. 

After you receive absolution, take a moment to thank God for his mercy.

Perhaps you’re reading this and thinking, “It has been too long since I’ve been to confession.” Whether it has been one month, one year, five years or 50 years, I invite you to take the opportunity this Lent to return to confession. 

If you let it be an encounter with the merciful love of the Good Shepherd, you will see the fruits in your life, and you will experience the joy and healing Jesus desires for you.